I don’t know why but as guys we tend to act stupid when in front of girls and especially when we have a motive. Last time around The Kiss Bandit wounded someone because of his stupidity, this time again on 2 different occasions hilarity ensued.

Scene 1:

Me and my friend were in a Model UN conference, when the idiot decided to hit on a girl. The girl was giving away soft drinks to all participants and when she came to our table, he asked, “Can we get beer instead of this?” The girl smiled and said no. Considering that most engineering guys have a sense of humor beyond the understanding of normal humans, my friend went to the girl and asked, “Can we have Chinese beer?” The joke being, we were representing China in the conference.

Result: The girl went and complained to the organizers, who luckily happened to be good friends and this douche was let off with a warning.

Scene 2:

Another friend of mine goes for CAT classes where there happens to be a teacher who is strict and very mean, you get the picture the kind of teachers we always wished we could run over in a Hummer. So my friend had skipped a couple of classes, thinking of this as being a good opportunity to start a conversation he went and asked the girl, “Whose lectures did I miss? Was it the wicked witch?” A metaphor only some can understand, as I said the sense of humor of an engineer is beyond normal humans.

Result: He was greeted with an expression of shock and awe, an expression which in my friend’s words, was something that resembled the look he would get if he had abused the girl’s family.

Not really sure if that was the case, possibilities are there. Lucky for him it was the last lecture of the ‘wicked witch’. The world can be a small place at the wrong times.

So, here are 2 tried and tested pick-up lines that you should never try unless off course you’re motives are to get yourself screwed and not the other way round. :P